- 2,799
- 72
- 48
- Location
- Mesquite, NV
The original plan was to ship the paperwork off to Rat4Spd and let him spend 10 minutes at the courthouse in Iowa tagging my deuce. I even thought I would get the license upgrade in the bible belt since I still pay my income taxes back there.
With retirement headed my way in two years and no plans to return to the land of much snow, I decided to suck it up and deal with CA DMV. How bad could it be? Well............................
Actually, not too bad (if you grade on a curve). I was a little worried because the price paid on the SF97 doesn't match any number I know of (too high), but still I soldiered on. Went to a ghetto DMV in San Diego on government time in my Navy uniform even. It was a Wednesday so they didn't open until 0900. I rolled in about 0745. 24 years in the Navy has taught me how to stand in line real well. I was about 25 people back at that early hour, but soon I figured out why - everyone ASSuMEd it opened at 0800. At 0803 when everyone was checking their watches, wondering out loud WTF the delay was - I got to announce to the crowd that it was WED and they open at 0900. After looks of disbelief, several folks fired up Google on their cell phones while those in the very front actually looked at the door. After I was proven correct, I found my self 4 spots closer.
Ten minutes to 0900 a cranky DMV lady pushing a cart filled with forms comes by. I showed her the SF-97 and she remarked that she had not seen one of those in awhile. At least they have seen them I thought.
Paperwork filled out I found myself STILL having to wait since they were only running about 15 windows. After 10 minutes I was at the counter. Handed everything over, told her I wanted to go historical, tried to make small talk. 30 seconds in I knew this was the most clueless DMV employee I've delt with - EVER. She checked the paperwork, played with her computer, checked the paperwork. Screwed with the computer until it froze for 10 or 15 seconds, really freaking her out. Finally she called in a supervisor.
He scans the paperwork and asks what I am trying to do. "Take Boy Scouts in parades" I replied. He helped her find some screens and we were moving along. For about 3 minutes. Another visit to the supervisor. A little more progress. Couple more visits, a couple more screens clicked off. Came time for the fees and they - no chit - wanted to charge me a late penalty - becuase I paid for the truck in March and was just now getting off my fat arse to register it. Well, actually as per the canceled postage on the priority envelope GL used, I had gotten the paperwork only the day before. That didn't matter. Rules are rules.
Ok - no problem - give me an out of state military form to fill out please. There is a glitch that doesn't allow them to charge late fees when using the form for some reason. It's saved me a few times over the past couple decades and I was ready to muck the system up again if needed. Soon another supervisor is on scene and waives the late fees. BUT - they want a VIN verification. Did I have the truck with me? Um, no, I didn't happen to drive it 80 miles to work today. I would need it registered to get it on base anyways, so driving it down here to see you on work time wasn't worth it. No problem - they give me a red temp for my 94 bucks. Gave me 60 days to get er done. Total time at the counter - 98 minutes. Add in 75 minutes waiting for the place to open and 2 20 minutes drives from work and back and you almost have a fraud waste and abuse case.
Yesterday I had a small window of time before my son's appointment. I left in the truck and headed to my local DMV. Rain and hail hit off and on. When I got to the DMV I couldn't help but take up both lanes (inspection and drivers testing). I saw them vin check a pickup in front of me. Looked like they were searching for drugs or maybe Jimmmy Hoffa. Started worrying again. The rain started again so when my turn came I pulled far enough forward that the hood was sticking out past the awning getting plenty wet. I didn't want to open the hood for these wet rats.
The DMV lady asked if I knew where the vin was. Didn't even smile when I joked - "Don't you"? So I quickly showed her the vin on the frame and offered up nothing else. She asked the make and model even though it was on the paperwork I handed her. Asked for the milage - 3612 I told her. "Probably rolled over " she said. "I doubt it" I replied. Um, seems that was the WRONG answer. Well then - we need to find the emissions sticker. She tells me ANYTHING entering CA for the 1st time with under 7500 miles needs a sticker. That was new to me. "It's exempt" I tell her. She wants to know why. I explain that the US Army didn't give a chit about CA back in 1966. Probably still doesn't. I KNOW it's exempt I tell her. I have been reading up on the web and NO ONE has posted about this.
She goes inside for 15 minutes. Comes back after the rain has stopped. She looks toweled off when she gets back too. Seems the year and make cause the truck to be exempt. Wow - shocker. She tells me to park down the street and take my paperwork inside to finish. Duh, like there are six empty spaces in the undersized lot next to each other anyway.
Inside I quickly make my way to a brand new trainee. I tell her if she can handle this, she will be done with training. Luckily her over the shoulder instructor was top notch. Knew everything, but had to let her fumble through. Only time he messes up is when he tries to get me to register it normally vice historical. "You'll hardly be able to use it. What a waste", he says. So I tell him to run the numbers. He is sure it won't cost hardly anything since it's a 66. Then he sees the three axles and the 13,500 weight. Decides historical is the right way to go.
They check the fees and see I paid 100 bucks to AZ for taxes. Since CA would have wanted 108 bucks, I gotta cough up another 8. Since she's training, I fill out the out of state military form this time. Saves 2 bucks and I swipe my ATM for 6 more dollars. I get another temp for 90 days since everything has to go up north to Sac. When it's 99.9% complete, super supervisor notices that the 1st DMV totalled up the priced I paid - cost + 10% buyers premium + 100 bux tax. Opps - I paid too much tax. I should have paid tax on the purchase price only, which means CA would have wanted LESS than AZ and I would have owed no more money. Too bad I used my ATM - seems they don't know how to reverse it. I can fill out a form and.....................
So I'm almost there. Registration and plates should be here in 60-90 days and I'll toss them in the glove box and feel 100% legal.
I got out of there just in time to meet my wife and son at his appointment. I guess that doctor's office doesn't get too many deuces in the lot.
With retirement headed my way in two years and no plans to return to the land of much snow, I decided to suck it up and deal with CA DMV. How bad could it be? Well............................
Actually, not too bad (if you grade on a curve). I was a little worried because the price paid on the SF97 doesn't match any number I know of (too high), but still I soldiered on. Went to a ghetto DMV in San Diego on government time in my Navy uniform even. It was a Wednesday so they didn't open until 0900. I rolled in about 0745. 24 years in the Navy has taught me how to stand in line real well. I was about 25 people back at that early hour, but soon I figured out why - everyone ASSuMEd it opened at 0800. At 0803 when everyone was checking their watches, wondering out loud WTF the delay was - I got to announce to the crowd that it was WED and they open at 0900. After looks of disbelief, several folks fired up Google on their cell phones while those in the very front actually looked at the door. After I was proven correct, I found my self 4 spots closer.
Ten minutes to 0900 a cranky DMV lady pushing a cart filled with forms comes by. I showed her the SF-97 and she remarked that she had not seen one of those in awhile. At least they have seen them I thought.
Paperwork filled out I found myself STILL having to wait since they were only running about 15 windows. After 10 minutes I was at the counter. Handed everything over, told her I wanted to go historical, tried to make small talk. 30 seconds in I knew this was the most clueless DMV employee I've delt with - EVER. She checked the paperwork, played with her computer, checked the paperwork. Screwed with the computer until it froze for 10 or 15 seconds, really freaking her out. Finally she called in a supervisor.
He scans the paperwork and asks what I am trying to do. "Take Boy Scouts in parades" I replied. He helped her find some screens and we were moving along. For about 3 minutes. Another visit to the supervisor. A little more progress. Couple more visits, a couple more screens clicked off. Came time for the fees and they - no chit - wanted to charge me a late penalty - becuase I paid for the truck in March and was just now getting off my fat arse to register it. Well, actually as per the canceled postage on the priority envelope GL used, I had gotten the paperwork only the day before. That didn't matter. Rules are rules.
Ok - no problem - give me an out of state military form to fill out please. There is a glitch that doesn't allow them to charge late fees when using the form for some reason. It's saved me a few times over the past couple decades and I was ready to muck the system up again if needed. Soon another supervisor is on scene and waives the late fees. BUT - they want a VIN verification. Did I have the truck with me? Um, no, I didn't happen to drive it 80 miles to work today. I would need it registered to get it on base anyways, so driving it down here to see you on work time wasn't worth it. No problem - they give me a red temp for my 94 bucks. Gave me 60 days to get er done. Total time at the counter - 98 minutes. Add in 75 minutes waiting for the place to open and 2 20 minutes drives from work and back and you almost have a fraud waste and abuse case.
Yesterday I had a small window of time before my son's appointment. I left in the truck and headed to my local DMV. Rain and hail hit off and on. When I got to the DMV I couldn't help but take up both lanes (inspection and drivers testing). I saw them vin check a pickup in front of me. Looked like they were searching for drugs or maybe Jimmmy Hoffa. Started worrying again. The rain started again so when my turn came I pulled far enough forward that the hood was sticking out past the awning getting plenty wet. I didn't want to open the hood for these wet rats.
The DMV lady asked if I knew where the vin was. Didn't even smile when I joked - "Don't you"? So I quickly showed her the vin on the frame and offered up nothing else. She asked the make and model even though it was on the paperwork I handed her. Asked for the milage - 3612 I told her. "Probably rolled over " she said. "I doubt it" I replied. Um, seems that was the WRONG answer. Well then - we need to find the emissions sticker. She tells me ANYTHING entering CA for the 1st time with under 7500 miles needs a sticker. That was new to me. "It's exempt" I tell her. She wants to know why. I explain that the US Army didn't give a chit about CA back in 1966. Probably still doesn't. I KNOW it's exempt I tell her. I have been reading up on the web and NO ONE has posted about this.
She goes inside for 15 minutes. Comes back after the rain has stopped. She looks toweled off when she gets back too. Seems the year and make cause the truck to be exempt. Wow - shocker. She tells me to park down the street and take my paperwork inside to finish. Duh, like there are six empty spaces in the undersized lot next to each other anyway.
Inside I quickly make my way to a brand new trainee. I tell her if she can handle this, she will be done with training. Luckily her over the shoulder instructor was top notch. Knew everything, but had to let her fumble through. Only time he messes up is when he tries to get me to register it normally vice historical. "You'll hardly be able to use it. What a waste", he says. So I tell him to run the numbers. He is sure it won't cost hardly anything since it's a 66. Then he sees the three axles and the 13,500 weight. Decides historical is the right way to go.
They check the fees and see I paid 100 bucks to AZ for taxes. Since CA would have wanted 108 bucks, I gotta cough up another 8. Since she's training, I fill out the out of state military form this time. Saves 2 bucks and I swipe my ATM for 6 more dollars. I get another temp for 90 days since everything has to go up north to Sac. When it's 99.9% complete, super supervisor notices that the 1st DMV totalled up the priced I paid - cost + 10% buyers premium + 100 bux tax. Opps - I paid too much tax. I should have paid tax on the purchase price only, which means CA would have wanted LESS than AZ and I would have owed no more money. Too bad I used my ATM - seems they don't know how to reverse it. I can fill out a form and.....................
So I'm almost there. Registration and plates should be here in 60-90 days and I'll toss them in the glove box and feel 100% legal.
I got out of there just in time to meet my wife and son at his appointment. I guess that doctor's office doesn't get too many deuces in the lot.
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