the deuce is always a vicitim during a break up

[ajg6989]

unfortunately I will not be able to spend as much time with the deuce after breaking up with my fiance. I guess the deuce cant blame itself

 

[Recovry4x4]

Adrian. hang in there, the deuce will never leave you. Did you get that mount?

 

[ajg6989]

yes thank you very much but dont know when I will be able to put it on.

 

[Trango]

I'm not telling you to disregard the principles of reasonable compromise, which are indispensable to a good relationship, but dude, if you love trucks and it's a big hobby for you, don't give it up.

My story:

I've been through 2 serious relationships since I was 21 who thought my vehicle problem was "cute" and then "tiresome" and then a "dealbreaker". Sometimes, I just need to work on my cars. "Sometimes" is pretty frequent, it seems. I actually had to put my date on hold yesterday because my predicted 2 hour buff and wax on the Audi took, um, a little longer than expected.

So, after moving in with a girl in about 2004 after meeting her in 2002, breaking up basically in that pre engagement stage, having an excruciating breakup, and being soured on the whole thing for a couple of years, I was pretty much convinced I'd die cold and alone. Sure, I went out with some people, but the relationships were of the "less than strongly committed" variety. I still might end up alone, but for the meantime, a few months ago, I met a girl whom I'm totally crazy about.

And she loves the trucks. Loves.

So to remind you of the bright side.... I hope you get over it soon, because there are more fish in the sea. And one of them is probably fired up about the truck.

Best
Bob

 

[rizzo]

I'm not telling you to disregard the principles of reasonable compromise, which are indispensable to a good relationship, but dude, if you love trucks and it's a big hobby for you, don't give it up.

My story:

I've been through 2 serious relationships since I was 21 who thought my vehicle problem was "cute" and then "tiresome" and then a "dealbreaker". Sometimes, I just need to work on my cars. "Sometimes" is pretty frequent, it seems. I actually had to put my date on hold yesterday because my predicted 2 hour buff and wax on the Audi took, um, a little longer than expected.

So, after moving in with a girl in about 2004 after meeting her in 2002, breaking up basically in that pre engagement stage, having an excruciating breakup, and being soured on the whole thing for a couple of years, I was pretty much convinced I'd die cold and alone. Sure, I went out with some people, but the relationships were of the "less than strongly committed" variety. I still might end up alone, but for the meantime, a few months ago, I met a girl whom I'm totally crazy about.

And she loves the trucks. Loves.

So to remind you of the bright side.... I hope you get over it soon, because there are more fish in the sea. And one of them is probably fired up about the truck.

Best
Bob

sounds like good advice

 

[Capt.Marion]

Hang in there!

 

[deuceman51]

I can definately relate to your problem too. I was also in the "engagement" phase of a really great relationship. She also thought my trucks were cool and neat, and she actually helped me with it a bit. Unfortunately she got to college and needed to have her freedom or she would miss out in life, lol. I guess her freedom involved tattoos, piercings, and a new boyfriend with a mohawk. I'm sure many here will get a good laugh at that one, I sure did. Point to this story is the only thing that got me thought it was my love of military vehicles to kill the downtime and give me something to keep my mind off things. Don't give up your hobby or change because of one person who made a mistake. If you love your hobby and enjoy it, keep it up. Heck i'm even expanding. If all else fails, you can probably pick up chicks in your bad ass SUV (Deuce).

 

[M35A2]

Keep the faith man.

I have owned Military vehicles now for 16 years, and have been with plenty of girls in that time. Damn. I was even in the Army for 8 years, and my Military Land Rovers were my daily transport. Imagine the stick I got from the guys, turning up at Army bases in privately owned Military Land Rovers. But hey, who cares, I didn't.

At the end of the day, the girls you meet know about your hobby from day one. If they don't like that then that's their problem. DO NOT give up your hobby. If people want you to change, then they are not worth being with, as they are not happy with you as you are.

My current girlfriend is not into my hobby, but we are looking for a house to buy with lots of parking, just so I can park my Deuce when I get it, and my two Land Rovers, and my Toyota Hilux Surf, and her Ford Puma.

Keep your chin up mate....

 

[acrane]

I dated a girl for 8 years, and towards the end she went absolutley balistic when I was building my WW1 Ambulance because she said it was taking away from "her" time. After she had a near nervous breakdown when I went to look at and M-151A2, I knew that I could never spend the rest of my life with her. After a rough break up. I found a wonderful girl who loves my hobby and is still supportive and enthusiastic about it after we got married.

If you are passoniate about MV's, then it is a big part of your life and if your going to spend the rest of your life with someone they need to be supportive of that. Hang in there dude, it will work out for you!

Alan

 

[Desert Rat]

AJG,

I know how tough it can be without someone to share your passion about a hobby. I'm one of the fortunate few where my wife actually BOUGHT my Deuce for me as a birthday present! She knew what she was getting into when she did it. We're both bitten very well. She's practical about it and gives me PLENTY of work to do with the truck (see how she incorporated the "honey-do" list with my hobby!!!!). A creative lady will use your hobbies to her advantage if she's smart. Mine makes my work very tolerable since I'm always working with my MVs anyway. Be paitent, it pays big time in the end!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Jones]

A lot of people don't understand that when the world starts closing in; going out and getting nose-to-nose with a mechanical project can actually be very theraputic. Concentrating on the work; or designing out a part or accessory makes one's immediate problems kinda fade to the background and helps get them back into the proper perspective.
And, I have two words of advice for anyone contemplating a relationship; "German" "Shepards".
Mine only cares that I don't forget how to run the can-opener, that I throw the chew toy for him a few times a day... and if I come home smelling like someone else, he's just that much more excited with my return.

 

[Armada]

Amen Leonard! I totally agree!!! My passion has always been hunting. In fact my wife paid for a couple of incredible hunting trips for me before we were married. We were building a new house at the time and I didn't want to spend the money. 5 and a half months after we were married she passed away, and since you can't hunt year round, I needed another hobby I could pour myself into. I've been into the MV's about a year and a half now, and it has really helped to keep my mind occupied, and my 'mental well being' in check. I've met a lot of great people too.

 

[wallew]

Armada,
Belated sympathies. I don't have a clue what I would do with myself without my wife. After 26 plus years, it's almost like we are one person. She too bought me my duece. And is pushing for me to sell the Sub and buy the M1009. So I can't tell you how hard it would be to have to live without her. Our kids are Great Pyrenee's. Then it would be just me.

Adrian,
The ONLY person who can make your 'better half' happy is THEM. The only person who can make YOU happy is YOU. If your other half is unhappy with your hobby, then it's their problem.

You can be sympathetic, but even if you STOPPED whatever she said was making her unhappy, she would just move on to the next thing that you do that 'makes her unhappy'. Again, at some point you will NOT be able to change whatever is making her unhappy and will still arrive at this point.

And besides, it's not a bad hobby. You aren't an alcoholic, a womanizer, a drug dealer, or a gambler. You don't do porn on the internet or chase small children around to have sex with them.

Dude, IT'S YOUR HOBBY. Suggest she either 'get a life' or go get a hhobby for herself. BESIDES changing your life. Because right now, THAT'S HER HOBBY. CHANGING YOU.

And again, even if you changed this, what's next? Your job? The location you live? I know a guy that FINALLY divorced his wife because she just couldn't stop buying stuff on ebay. I think it was the diamond ring for $4000 that was the real 'kick her out of the house' event.

 

[rice]

I've been married 38 years to a great wife. She doesn't mind my hobbies, in fact she likes riding in my 66 deuce. It is non turbo with exhaust underneath and insulated cab so its relatively quiet compared to my 86. I wouldn't even want to think what I'd do without her. There are good women out there, just take time to find the right one.

 

[N1265]

It has ben my experiance than when a woman is unhappy in a relationship that she :

1) finds another man

2) tells the new guy anything he wants to hear to get him to make a commintment to her.

3) tells you and all of your friends / family any old excuse why it isnt working out with you and why you should be divorced /seperated. ( in this case its your MV hobbie )


the moral of all of this is usually by time you are told that there is a problem... its already to late ! she has already started making plans to go.

what ever changes you make to try to make her happy will only put off the ineviatble.... untill she can come up with another excuse.

the real kick in the groin is that over time people change on their own
( with out the altimatem from their spouse)...

20 years ago I loved to go trap shooting... sometimes 4 times a week.
( I even left the wife at home on our anniversery one night to go shooting with the guys) and I hated to do yard work. But now, I havent been to the trap range in over a year, but never let my yard go one week withought cutting the grass. now I even water it just so I can cut it !


The solution to your delema is to understand / accept the fact that people change and the person you will be happiest with is the one that does not try to change you.... AND the one that you do not have to change!

Keep in mind that this person does NOT have to be the same person throught your entire life, ( but it is an added bonus if she is)

It took me 6 years of marriage, 20 years of divorce, and god only knows how many "mini relationships" to figure this out.


If you truly get enjoyment out of your MV hobbie, then stay with it
untill it no longer brings you any enjoyment.

Good Luck,

 

[m35a2gibson]

when my wife and i got divorced, she tried to get my duece.
luckly i have a good lawyer.
scary
kevin gibson

 

[carguy455]

Wow,

Adrian, I don't think you knew what you were going to learn by starting this thread. I think I have learned a LOT about all of you by reading this one, and ALL your advice was DEAD ON on this topic.
Like every guy on here I too have a story, a life long gearhead , the cars and trucks have caused some issues over the years, especially with relationships and family. But , if there is ONE thing in life I have learned in my rough 39 year ride its that Happiness is NOT a "destination", it is a by product of HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE. Do things you enjoy whenever possible and happiness will be the result. Changing what makes you happy should not be anyone elses business unless you are putting yourself or others in danger or breaking the law. I have had way too many cars and trucks for many years, I also drank too much at times for many years. Oddly enough over and over agian I heard about the "too many autos" and not about the "too many drinks". On more than one occasion I told a girlfriend or fiance that "The cars were here before you , most likely they will be here after you leave", because I DERIVE ENJOYMENT from my autos, and they hurt NO ONE. I guess no one said anything about my drinking because it was not "out of the ordinary"..IE: more guys drink than collect cars and trucks in number. The one thing women SHOULD have been complaining about they were not, the thing that was actually HURTING ME and others.
Luckily I saw the light on the heavy drinking myself, and after I "came back" I got into my hobby more than ever, once the depression of failed relationships or other issues in life passed, the cars were always still there, like dear old friends always there to give me a purpose, a safe escape, a distraction , and a sense of accomplishment.
I have had 4 serious relationships in my life , many "mini" relationships, the second serious one re-ran between3 and 4 and again twice after 4 . The cars were still a factor EVERY TIME in that one, even though you would think that person , after having been with me, broken up, gotten back with me SO MANY TIMES over so many years, that she would KNOW that part of my life would not change.....but no , someone that wants to change you will ALWAYS want to change you.

It will hurt for a while, maybe a long while, maybe not. Everything happens for a reason, it really does. I have been crushed 4 times by women, yet I am still here, I still have my cars and trucks, I am single but have plenty of dates, but most importantly I LEARNED to be happy ALONE and be happy INSIDE. Once I accomplished that, if I was in a relationship, thats great ,, if I am not, thats OK too. Be patient, you will get there, and try not to make any big decisions about getting rid of autos or buying big ticket items for a while. I have done this sometimes while hurt and I made mistakes. Give yourself time to heal, its allowed. You will come out a stronger person for it, you may never forget it [ I have one that still hurts many years later ] but you WILL be happy, just be "yourself ". !!

And to the rest of you, THANK YOU for sharing all your stories, I think we ALL learned a lot about each other.

 

[M35A2]

I think one thing we can all take from reading each others stories is that what we have is more than just a hobby. It's a WAY of LIFE!!

I often find that when I go to shows, there are a lot of Ex Military Vehicle Owners that tend to have an ex military background. Maybe they feel by owning an ex military vehicle, they are keeping that part of their life that they enjoyed alive. It certainly works for me being ex Army. I love to put the old uniform on again, drive my vehicles to shows, camp out in Army tents, eat from a field kitchen, catch up on old times with good friends.

We can go to shows and not know anyone, but our love of military vehicles brings us together as one big family.

Girlfriends come and go, but military vehicles are our way of life. That will never change as long as we are able to buy, own, restore and show these vehicles of history.

You might loose the odd girlfriend here and there, but you will never loose the military vehicle community.